It has taken me a long time to come to this unfortunate conclusion. The journey to it has been painful and harsh. Not so much a short. sharp shock of reality as a treatuous road to reason.

this reason being that perhaps there is not 'someone' for me. That not all people are destined to find trye love.

Yes, I've had relationships before-at 28 years of age perhaps not enough, the certainly never someone special - someone to call mine. There was one who lived with me as a flatmate for over a year. One who I loved, One who I would have died for. But that only came from my side. The most painful type of love, is the love that doesn't come back to you. Our living arrangement ceased prematurely anyhow. I can't help thinking 'what if it hadn't gone tits up?' Of course, that is the point of this, he wasn't the One, was he?

In the twelve months swince he went I have tried allsorts; god, church, yoga, drama, creative writing, but none of them have led to anything. Even the 'old faithful'. drinking hasn't led to anything much more than a feel behind the bins.

So back to my initial point. Some people arn't destined to meet 'the One' and I am one of them. Of course, it doesn't stop there. My time is filled with yoga and church and creative writing et al. not to find something constructive to do with my time, but to chase off the feelings of desolation and isolation that come from the terrible knowlege that it will be dinner for one, not just tonight but forever.

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